Saving a relationship can be a long process but it can be done. Unfortunately there is no magic wand to get your partner back. If you want to rekindle love and get a lost relationship back, then you are probably going to need to make some changes. If you’re not prepared to change, then it’s highly unlikely that you will get your love back and, even if you do, you are probably just going to end up getting more of the same misery that caused your break up in the first place.

Language of Desires

The first step in saving a relationship is to work out why you want to get the relationship back together. Where is your longing for your lost relationship really coming from? If you want your relationship back because of your feelings of loneliness or desperation, then it may be better to deal with these feelings first before you try again. If you know that the partner you lost is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you’d better be sure that you can accept and love this person exactly as they are. Think back over all their little quirks that used to irritate you and work out why you found them hard to handle last time around. You need to know what you can tolerate and what you can’t.

Next, if you want to get things back together then you will have to make changes in the areas where it all went wrong. This might take some working out as you may have been blaming your ex-partner for the problems in your relationship. Now it’s time to take responsibility for your part in the split. If you can’t do this or if you think that it was all your partner’s fault, then this is not going to be a good basis for getting the relationship back together.

Now you know what went wrong, what are you going to change about the future? You can only change yourself, you can’t expect your ex to change unless they want to. Work out how you can start to make these changes now. Don’t wait until you get back together. Any improvements will justify the time spent and hold you in good stead even if you don’t make it back as a couple. If you want to rekindle love then you don’t want to make those same mistakes in any future relationship. Don’t just talk about changing – take action and become your best self today. Saving a relationship becomes easier, the more you work on improving yourself.

Now that you have started to make changes, if you want to get back with your ex, you are going to have to take the initiative and get in touch. Don’t do this until you are able to handle it emotionally. If your partner is still in pain from your break up, you will probably have to take some flack, and you need to be able to do so without lashing out yourself. Following your conversation with your ex, you may discover that your ex has no intention of doing anything differently and you may want to re-evaluate your decision to get back together.

Hopefully you will be able to start to make things better with your ex. Don’t make it obvious that you are desperate to get back together. Aim to rekindle your friendship first and hopefully the love will follow. Keep your communication positive and ditch any blaming or attacking behaviours. Be a sympathetic listening ear for your ex. Take things slowly so you can continue to work on yourself as well as your relationship. Cultivate respect, appreciation and acceptance of the whole person. If you can rediscover the friendship and laughter between you then you have a better chance of rekindling the love. Don’t be pushy – this could be a long job. But if it is worth it, you can succeed and get your lost relationship back.

Get help and a proven plan to rekindle love. These strategies will give you hope and help you to face the future with a positive mind. Learn the steps that you need to take if you want to win your ex back and put your relationship on the road to recovery.


You can also visit the Get Your Ex Back Toolkit for further advice on saving a relationship.

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