How often do you hear people saying I miss my ex?  Probably a lot and the sad thing is that most relationships that finish shouldn’t.  They end because of poor communication which can be easily improved if only you know how.  Very few couples break up because of infidelity. In fact, being able to talk properly to each other would often make the reasons behind the infidelity disappear.

Language of Desires

So why do we find it so difficult to communicate?  There are a number of reasons but the main one is that our brains are wired differently. Our brains process information in various ways and generally speaking in women there are certain parts of the brain namely the language center that is more developed than in a mans.  That doesn’t mean that women are superior to men only that they are different.  A woman tends to be more emotional whereas a man is more logical.  So when discussing a problem, it can seem as if they are speaking different languages.

Other things get in the way as well such as pride and fear. When you have too much pride, you don’t want to be seen as the weaker partner.  Funnily enough the very things that you think are weak such as the ability to admit when you are wrong or that you miss your partner are actually a sign of strength of character.  It is knowing what we want out of life and grabbing it with both hands that makes us happy not whether we were the ones to apologize last in an argument.

Fear is another big factor in the breakdown of partnerships.  Most of us have an underlying fear of rejection. This may be caused by past experiences or a lack of self esteem or both.  So instead of telling our partner that we love them and want to stay with them forever, we walk away for fear they don’t feel the same way.

The sad truth is that they probably do love you too but are also afraid of laying their emotions on the line for fear that they will get trampled.  

It is very sad to see couples that are great together break up. It is especially so when they have been together a long time so have invested lots of emotional hours into the relationship.  Often the break up is caused by life factors such as stress at work or worries over kids or finances.  Other times one partner may feel jealous of the relationship between their partner and one of their own kids.  Children can play a huge part in splitting up their parents not by choice but because children aged 5 -7 often become jealous of their parents. For example a boy may feel that his Dad is more important to his mum that he is so he will stir up trouble between them.  Or a girl may feel jealous of her Dad’s affection for her mum. This is completely natural and a phase in childhood that most kids grow out of.  But while it is happening, it can prove very stressful to all concerned.

So the next time you hear someone say I miss my ex, tell them to contact their old partner and see if they can get together for a chat and just maybe they will get back together again.

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