First the predicament was how to have a relationship, but through patience, hard work, perseverance, and of course love, one triumphs. The next predicament becomes how to keep a relationship. With even more patience, even more hard work, even more perseverance, and even more love; one should be able to prevail as well. Or would he? Is there an assurance that one need not find one’s self in the next predicament of how to win back a relationship?

Language of Desires

The funny, well, the strange thing about relationships is that they need to be constantly worked upon as the people in it are constantly changing. In fact, maintaining a relationship demands more time, more energy, more patience, and even more abilities than keeping a job. Relationships can become tedious in its constant need for assurance and re-assurance, change and adaptation, verbal and silent communication. But despite one’s best effort, there will always be a factor that will affect either of both couples that eventually spells doom for the relationship. Why is it that 50% of marriages end in divorce? Why is it that 3 out of 5 relationships break up? Because people never found the recipe for love and the recipe for how to win back a relationship.

How to win back a relationship starts even before the actual separation. There are premeditated steps one should follow for the whole process to become successful. No matter what part or stage of the break up the relationship already is, hope is not lost. The important thing is that one does not dally into taking action because too much time apart might breed indifference and indifference is one’s biggest enemy. Do not wait too long to start winning back a relationship. Stop moping around, stop listening to love songs, stop wallowing in self-pity.

Be very careful not to fall into the three types of dysfunctional reactions following a break-up: do not exhibit too much distress or preoccupation with the ex; do not act out violent attempts to win back the ex; and do not indulge in ambivalent behavior. Being over emotional and sentimental has no part in winning back a relationship. They will only prove to be self-defeating and more destructive to the person and to the relationship. Get out of bed, go to work, and get on with life. Those are already the first few winning steps in stopping a break up and winning back the relationship.


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