Restoring Trust in Relationships – Getting Your Ex Back After An Affair
You’re guilty. You cheated. Now you’re asking yourself ‘How can I get my ex back after I’ve cheated’? There are people whose position is that an affair is a good reason to end your relationship. I wholeheartedly disagree with that thought process. I believe that every relationship can be salvaged as long as both parties are willing to put in the work required to keep it. This article is written to help you restore trust within relationships
To restore the trust in your relationship, an attitude and action adjustment will be required. It’s possible to save your relationship even after an affair, but the you must start with significantly increasing the level of trust between the members of the couple.
If you’re the one who had the affair, then something in your attitude or mentality caused you to stray away from your relationship. This is generally an indication that something is broken at the core of your relationship. Just know that whatever it is, it can be fixed.
Do a self assessment to determine what you were searching for when you strayed. Was the intimacy in your relationship boring and routine? Was she too focused on something other than you? Had she allowed her appearance, hygiene, or grooming to slip too much?
If the relationship was perfect, you wouldn’t have been caught up in an affair. So do some self analysis and ask yourself what needs to be done to fix the issues. The problem may not be all you, though. There could also be problems with your relationship, not the individuals.
Restoring trust in relationships basically means fixing these underlying problems. This may even require couples counseling. Many times a 3rd party can offer insight or mediation that cannot be obtained with just the two of you.
Just having an understanding of your thoughts isn’t enough. You must take specific action towards reconciling your differences. Don’t just talk about. Do something about it.
One of the most impactful things you can do is make small promises then do all you can to keep them. Let your word be your bond. Be consistent with the things you’ve promised to do. Demonstration of your trustworthiness on these small things will gradually improve your partner’s confidence in your ability and faithfulness with doing the greater things.
Just know that your girlfriend or wife is going to constantly need reassurance that you’ve changed for the long term and not just said words. This means you’ll probably be apologizing several times for your breach. Plan for comments about it to be made. Take them in stride and keep showing her that you’re serious about the success of your relationship. Your patience will be tested, but if your plan is to stay with her, you’ll continue being patient.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t to say that you should forever be laden with guilt about the affair. Don’t let her take you on guilt trips. Apologize for what you’ve done wrong. Be understanding. Move on.
I have a friend who is always telling me to find the silver lining in a bad situation. You can do this, too. Find the positives of the incident. Use this as an opportunity to grow individually and collectively. Scientists say a bone is strongest at the place of a break. Your relationship can be the same way after the affair.
Restoring the trust that’s been broken in your relationship will take time. Your relationship, like a bone, will not be healed overnight. The mentality and actions of both you and your partner will have to change. Be prepared for more accountability. Remember that it is possible to repair the breath and be a stronger couple as a result.
The Magic Of Making Up is loaded with clear, step-by-step advice for healing your relationship and getting your ex back after an affair. It’s written in plain language for all to understand and utilize. Don’t waste another minute wondering if you’re doing everything right. Click rightHERE and find out more about Restoring Trust in Relationships and getting your ex back after an affair.
Arlissa P. is a Relationship Recovery Mentor. Everyone deserves to have someone special in their life. Perhaps your relationship has broken up and you want to get your ex back. Arlissa is an expert in this area and has written many articles on the topic. These can be found at her Relationship Recovery Blog.
Find More Getting Back With An Ex Articles
Relationships – How to Get Back With an Ex
But First Are There Ways To Stop A Break Up, Divorce or A Lover’s Rejection?
There are millions of break ups occurring everyday for one reason or another… infidelity, plain old lost passion,loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…
When our partner breaks up with us we are instantly filled with anger, rage and disbelief. Then there is pain and confusion what went wrong with the relationship. All sorts of crazy thoughts start creeping into our minds along with some pretty unusual actions on our part like…
Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry… Binge eating for comfort… Calling them several times a day… Text messaging them constantly… Constantly checking our voice mail to see if he/she called… Not going out because we are afraid to miss a call… Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you… Feeling massively depressed…
The problem is when you finally do get hold of them the air is full of anxiety and panic with the only out come being arguments and defensiveness with total loss of control which helps the matter absolutely none.
Remember these are natural responses we are only human and with someone we care about breaking up with us our self esteem has been injured and in our mind is unrepairable.
Love is one of the strongest Emotions known to man and when it is threatened or loss the mind and body go into massive hysteria to rectify the situation and get back on track. But as the old saying goes “It Takes Two To Tango.”
So to rectify our partners decision you start to apologize for everything.
and promise to change, never really knowing what needs to be changed if anything.
You try to continually convince them that you are the Love of their life and they’ll never find anyone that loves them like you do.
Then when all self esteem is lost you start to beg them to take you back.
And all your efforts have accomplished only one thing and that is to make them angry and more distant.
You need to know one thing This is not all your Fault…
Your human nature has been dealing with this situation and it doesn’t always make the right choice when it comes to emotions.
You never were taught in school about relationships, did your parents teach you how to deal with them? And I don’t know of any Relationship University.
So how else do you deal with them? Pay a counselor $ 100 an hour to explain why you feel the way you do? There are other ways to deal with the pain and heart ache and most won’t cost you a dime.
For examples there are support groups, forums, organizations and many other outlets you can try to find the help you need.
I only say beware because some of these are wolves in sheep’s clothing trying to make a buck off of ones emotional state. So should you find a group, organization or individual that you think can help check them out just to make sure they are for real and will help you deal with the situation instead of emptying your pocket.
Someone who is honest, ethical and have helped others in these types of situation can most likely give you excellent guidance on How To Get Back With Ex and a few other tips on How To Keep Them Once You Got Em Back.
Don’t let the emotions of your ex breaking up destroy that wonderful individual that you are learn how to get back with ex and live your life to it’s fullest.
“Things can never go back to the way they were but they can be better than they ever were before”
RedHendoo here first off I am not a psychologist, Doctor or some relationship guru just an individual that has been where you are but have had the privilege of acquiring advice and guidance from some of the greatest minds in dealing with broken relationships. I have taken this advice and put it into action to over come the break up, separation and divorce situations that could have destroyed my life but instead gave me the strength to over come. After long deliberation on this subject it is my purpose and goal to try and help give guidance to those individuals that are feeling anxiety and heart ache as I did during the break up, separation and divorce. To help you eliminate those desperate feelings and over come them as I have done and continue with your lives. http://brokenrelationships.wordpress.com