Getting an ex back is hard in most situations, but it’s especially difficult if you were the one who dumped him. Too often what seems to be isn’t the truth at all. This is the position that Dana found herself in and she had to go about getting an ex back.
Dana’s “friend” Rita told her that her boyfriend Steve had been sleeping with another woman. Without verifying the information or even asking Steve about it, Dana accused him of having an affair. This took Steve by complete surprise because he had no idea what she was talking about and he did a poor job of defending himself. Dana, in her anger, dumped him on the spot.
Dana soon learned that Rita lied for her own jealous, petty reasons. Now Dana was in a quandary. Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face.
Dana called Steve and told him what had happened. But Steve was angry and had no desire to take her back. Dana had hurt him first of all by not trusting him and not being willing to discuss what she had heard with him.
Getting an ex back took all of Dana creative relationship abilities and much of her patience.
After a few days, Dana wrote Steve a long letter of apology. She took responsibility for what happened and promised that it would never happen again. She reminded Steve of the good relationship they had and said that she didn’t want to throw all of that away. She told him that the reason she acted the way she did was because she loved him very much and couldn’t stand the thought of his being with another girl. She further told him that the thought of losing him forever was painful.
After Dana mailed the letter, she didn’t bother him with constant texts or phone calls or emails. She thought that getting an ex back after what she had done required that she give Steve his space.
When she did run into Steve, Dana was as nice and friendly as she could be. She worked positive memories into the conversation casually, but she didn’t apologize again. She had told him both in person and in writing that she was sorry. She didn’t think she would make any progress getting her ex back with more of the same.
Dana got tickets for Steve’s favorite band which was in town for one concert only. She asked him to go with her “just as friends.” In this way, she opened the door to a future relationship without crowding him.
Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly and dumped him is difficult. Not only do you have the embarrassment of having to apologize, but you almost have to start from scratch again on the relationship. Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this period.
Dana and Steve did eventually get back together. Steve realized that Dana’s outburst was the act of a jealous woman who loved him. He saw it as a mistake that they could both grow from. Their relationship became stronger than ever. Dana used the right approach to getting an ex back.
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