If you’ve recently gone through a break up, then right now your emotions are probably running wild and you are desperately asking yourself “how do I get back my ex girlfriend?” This is very common just after a relationship has just broken up. In this article we will discuss three critical first steps on the road to getting back your ex girlfriend.
Accept That You Have Broken Up
It may seem strange to accept that you have broken up as a first step to trying to get back together, but this is critical in order to help you get your emotions under control and thus eliminate the tension and stress associated with a breakup. This gives you the time and control you need to fully analyze the problems and issues that led to a breakup in a rational and thoughtful manner.
Give Yourselves Time to Get Over The Issues
The first mistake people usually make is about letting their emotions take control and immediately contacting their ex in a desperate attempt to avoid losing them. Unfortunately this can often lead to just the opposite and drive people further apart. Make sure you give your ex and yourself time to think about your relationship, the problems that you encountered at the end and how much value each other. Ask yourself “what is it about my girlfriend that makes me want to get her back?”
Establish The First Meeting
Now that you have your emotions under control and have spent a little time considering the issues you experienced, you can begin thinking about the first meeting with your ex. Try to think about where you should meet as well as when, preferably in a neutral location. Although we have discussed giving yourself time to go over the issues, make sure you don’t wait too long to try and established your first meeting. This first meeting will be your best indication of whether your ex is still in love with you and not.
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When you have broken up with your girlfriend, you may find yourself constantly thinking of ways you can get her back. If you are serious about making up, there are some specific steps you will need to follow. I’ll outline three steps you can take to get your ex-girlfriend back, and then tell you about the best resource I know for anyone who has had a relationship break-up and wants to get back with the person they care about. It provides more information than space allows here.
Remember, it is not guaranteed that you will get your ex-girlfriend back, even if you want it more than anything else and you try as hard as you can. The steps outlined here are a great start, but there is more to it than this.
1. Look at your relationship closely and find the factors that most likely contributed to the break-up. This is not to say you should blame either your ex-girlfriend or yourself. Nor should you focus on negative thoughts that lead to depression. In this first step, think back over your relationship and identify what went on between you that could have led to the break-up. Look at your own actions and take responsibility for them, not hers.
Was there something you did that hurt your girlfriend, like staying late at work and missing time you could have spent with her? Or did you fight over little things that led to bigger arguments? Or did you not do something you should have, such as taking her out to dinner on her birthday or pitching in with cooking, cleaning and other tasks around the home? Do you think that maybe she felt ignored and unappreciated?
After finding the most likely factors that led to your break-up, ask yourself whether it is something that you can still do something about, or if it is too late to fix the problem.
Fix anything you can still fix. Stop doing the things that hurt your relationship and start doing things that enhance it. Apologize to your girlfriend, but keep it brief, simple and above all, sincere. Make all appropriate amends that will help fix the problem.
If it’s too late to fix the problem that led to your break-up, remember it is never too late to make a heart-felt apology. Be willing to change any behavior you need to in order to keep your relationship thriving, and let your girlfriend know how committed you are to the relationship.
2. Get your girlfriend to want you back with a change in your behavior. Once you’ve dealt with the factors that led to the break up, the next step to getting back with your ex-girlfriend is to make her want you back. That may seem obvious, but most people don’t do it. If she was angry when you broke up, then you have to be a person who can make her happy again. You must be extremely patient and attentive. Be as sweet as you possibly can when you see her or talk to her.
Even if you’re unhappy or angry about the break-up, still be as pleasant as you can. Help her remember what she liked about you when times were good. If your girlfriend accepts your apology for what led to the break up as genuine and sees how nice you can be again, you may be able to get her back.
Here are some things to do when you see or talk to your ex-girlfriend.
* Really listen, and show it with eye-contact and putting down what you are doing while she talks
* Never interrupt or cut her off
* Let her finish expressing herself before you take your turn to speak
* Avoid imposing “oughts” on her–such as telling her what she ought to feel or ought to do.
Your girlfriend won’t come back to you if you are bossy or overbearing. Always get her side of an issue and sincerely take it into consideration. Let her know you mean it when you say you want to know how she is feeling and what she is thinking.
3. Take note whether your strategies are having the desired effect–and when they aren’t. Look for evidence that her attitude toward you is getting softer. Perhaps she’s a little nicer when you’re with her. Maybe you have been seeing her more often or having more phone conversations. Maybe she even initiates the contact with you more often than before, or is less distant and evasive than she has been for a long time. Your efforts to get her back are working!
When she sees how nice it is to be with you, she’ll want to get together with you more often. Then she’ll remember why she became your girlfriend in the first place.
Watch for the flip side, too. Notice if your girlfriend suddenly stops spending as much time with you as before, or if she gets angry when you talk to her, or becomes more distant and evasive. Those are warning signs that you’re trying too hard. Being demanding and pushy will make her uncomfortable and sabotage the progress you’ve made by following these steps. Back off, relax, and just be yourself. This will improve your chance of getting back with your ex-girlfriend.
These three steps will lay a foundation for getting your ex-girlfriend back.
There are additional steps you need to take, as well as things to avoid at all costs. A good place to learn what those steps are is The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson.
Find More Getting Back With Your Ex Articles
Being an expert in relationship counselling, the questions like “What should I do after a break up?”, “Is there still any chances to be together with my ex?” all sound familiar. Breaking any relationship, especially the ones sensitive like a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend always make people feel stuck and trapped which often results in serious mistakes. These mistakes could ruin absolutely your chance of winning one’s love back for ever.
1) Don’t panic.
Now, what do I actually mean by don’t panic? You remember the times during your exams, what will most likely happen when you panicked? Yes, your mind turns blank. Same applies here, if you can’t think, your actions and behaviours will be anticipated by your emotions, which is bad. You don’t think rationally, you rush into the situation, trying to bug her for more explanations. But I can tell you firmly, the only thing next is that she will be avoiding you even more. Don’t even think you can ever win her love back again.
2) Give her space.
Everyone, every human to be exact, needs time to heal after their emotional break downs. She’s probably experiencing insomnia as you are now while trying to figure out whether the decision was the best option she had. Give her space on her own, don’t be paranoid, making calls, message, or even emails annoying the hell out of her. Trying calling her after 2 weeks, asking how’s life, make it casual, just like a friend. A high chance you’ll get after this is a lunch date with her, one step closer to win her love back.
3) Show life.
This is one of the crucial steps you will need to overcome yourself. You need to look good, maintain a healthy lifestyle and social activities. “How am I going to do it when I’m sad?” That’s why I said you need to overcome it yourself, no one can help you on this. Ask yourself, does your ex love you for looking depressed when you first met? No right? Now get up your feet, shake up, go make friends. You’ll be amazed on the positive energy and confident you’ll gather, hence indirectly increasing you chance to win her love back!
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Just to make sure you get my points that these methods had been working for me and my clients, however it might not work for every case. Anyway these tactics to win her love back are extracted from a great book which I had reviewed in my signature below.
Wishing For You,
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How to get her back – http://tinyurl.com/how-to-get-your-girl-back So here are three easy steps on how to get your ex girlfriend back to you. 1. Don’t try to pressure her by calling her non… Video Rating: 4 / 5
If you have been wondering how to get your ex-boyfriend to come back to you again, rest assured that it can be done. Of course due to varying circumstances there is no guarantee, but if you make an effort your chances are good. Those that think about it but never take action will never know if it could happen to them.
Your first step at getting your ex boyfriend back is to take a look at yourself. If he left you because of the way you are, then you need to make some changes in your life or he may never consider the thought of being with you again. Take a good look at what you may have done to make him leave, or if you left him, what do you do to make yourself more appealing to him so he would take you back.
Your best case is to become the person he remembers when the two of you first met. Work on your attitude and personality so you come across as a happy and loving person. Your ex will not want to see an unhappy individual begging for him to come back to you.
Take care of yourself by getting some exercise, eating well and losing some weight if you think that could help. You could give yourself a complete makeover so your ex will be impressed with a new you. Doing these things will also boost your confidence and well being.
While you are working on these issues, do not try to contact your ex boyfriend. After breaking up there can be anger over what has happened so it would be best to wait a while till both of you calm down. It could takes weeks or months for this to happen and do not try to rush it.
You will know when the time is right for you to make contact. When you call him, just say you are making sure he is doing ok. You want to make this call short and don’t bring up getting back together, after a few words tell him you must go. You can ask if it would be ok to call again at a later date. If he agrees to this, that would be a positive sign.
You will need to have patience with this to give your plan time to work. If you are afraid to try, what have you got to lose, you are already separated? But if you approach this correctly the chance of getting back together is good.
To discover more information on how to get your ex back, check out this great relationship breakup site.
I frequently see situations where a guy does something stupid and now he wants to know how to win his ex girlfriend back. Let us look at a common situation that was recently admitted by an up and coming politician.
The first mistake is going out with the boys, minus your girlfriend, into what has been called a “target rich environment”; also known as a bar or a party.
When you add the influence of alcohol, doing something stupid is easy to do.
A guy named Duane heads out to a party with some guy friends on a night when Kathy, his girlfriend, cannot come along. Next thing you know, after a few drinks, Duane is dancing and then making out with one of Kathy’s friends.
Naturally, Kathy finds out about it and has a nasty confrontation with Duane.
“I never want to see you again,” she says. “I am so out of here.”
Here is where you do not want to compound the first mistake with a second. A lot of guys would be quick to call, email, text, and even run out for flowers and candy. Nope, do not do it.
What he should do is let her make the next move. She is the one in control here. If Duane goes out to score, he is going to lose her. But if he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back, he needs to hold off doing anything on his part but be planning for the next step.
Do not focus on the present. Keep your eye on the long game here.
At some point, Kathy will cool off and initiate contact. You know she just cannot leave it alone.
There are many pretexts for her doing this. On the one hand, she may be mad and want a return exchange of all personal property. And, she could just be missing him and want to talk.
Here is where Duane needs to make his move. He needs to show her that he is the one for her.
Duane will want to put the incident behind him and only bring up the incident if she does first.
What he can and should talk about are the positive memories that the two have had together. He should bring up specific incidents that were special for both of them.
Maybe he could say, “I was walking around downtown and I saw the restaurant we went to on our first date and I thought of you.”
If the conversation remains casual, he can talk about missing her. “I miss the way you laugh at my stupid jokes, even if you have heard them before.” Do not under any circumstances mention that he cannot imagine life without her.
If Kathy is being receptive, and she probably will be (or else why is she calling?) Duane should suggest a casual get together, maybe coffee or ice cream, nothing big here. A brief half hour mini-date could be just what it takes to get things back on track for the relationship.
If Duane plays it right using the advice I have given here, he will have found the right solution to the how to win ex girlfriend back after doing something stupid.
Relationship conflict issues can be tricky, that is why we provide helpful advice for a lot of different scenarios like how to win ex girlfriend back.