Because of human nature we try to change people to fit our needs or become who we think would make them better. Generally, this just doesn’t work. Couples often find that because one tried to change the other, they just don’t cope well together any longer. Independence is important to people so when they’re forced to change, they’re going to be unhappy and resentful. After a couple splits up, if one tries to change the other and not themselves, there will be bad consequences.
Generally a breakup is due to both members of the relationship and one just felt there were no more options to fixing the situation. If you want to get back with your ex you’re going to have to be the one to do the fixing. Show your ex that you can still change for the bettering of the relationship.
Though it might not seem fair, take into consideration that you’re the one that wants to get back with your ex. If you want something… you have to work for it. Think of what you can do on a personal level that would make a difference to your ex.
You don’t have to do all the changing, just enough to get your ex to realize you’re serious about making your relationship work. Your ex will become comfortable with changing when he/she no longer feels like he/she is taking a huge risk in putting his/her trust in you again.
Basically the saying “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” holds true in this sort of situation because you’re looking to make a foundation for something that takes a lot of work. Trust only in yourself to make the foundation you want for your relationship. Your ex will realize the hard work you’ve put into maintaining a relationship and will likely be willing to try again.
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You will realize the true value of something only when it is no longer there with you. This is one of the human facts. It holds true in the case of relationships as well. It can be seen that we tend to understand what a relations meant to us or how valuable it was for us, only after we face a breakup. When you are in a steady relationship, everything might seem rosy, and you would not take much effort to be in your best and nurture the relation. There may not be any positive efforts from both the partners.
And a breakup can bring in sudden depression. It will cause emotional turmoil; can affect you as well s all those who are connected to you; at home, at office, children, everyone. However, you might feel guilty as well, because you have not tried the best of your ability to save a valuable relationship. The sudden realization that your partner is no longer your “partner” but is “ex” can be shattering. That is when you decide to do all that you can to get him or her back into your life, once again.
When you are in a relation, you tend to feel that your partner is not that important to you, but you will realize the pain only when you breakup, and that’s when you will want to win him or her back at any cost.
But, to prepare for a get back, you need to plan a strategy based on your situations and what suits best for you. This is because each of us are different and there may be no hard and fast rules that apply to all. However, definitely there are a few things in common that you can try in whatever situation you both have been. But, ensure that you begin trying this only when you feel it really necessary to win back your ex and improve the damaged relation. If you chalk your plans the right way, in most cases, winning him or her back is pretty possible.
As it is understandable, you need to sort out the mistakes that both of you committed to spoil the relationship. In fury, you might even have exchanged several foul words. Definitely you know that you need to work back and see how it could be justified. Next, put yourself in your partner’s position and think neutrally about your mistakes. Be frank on whether you will be able to rectify your part if ever you get back. Will you be able to ensure that you would not react the same way as it was before? But, in this analysis, you need to be really honest to yourself.
If you are sure about yourself, you can try getting back. Also, be clear in your mind that you will not let the same mistakes happen any more. Also, make sure not to mention the past mistakes to the ex again at any point of time. Otherwise, the past mistakes may still haunt your relation, and it may move on to a worse phase than it ever was. If you are able to ensure yourself about this, you still a have a chance to win back your ex. Next, you must sacrifice your ego. Being egoistic and self-centered can never lead you anywhere.
You will definitely have to give up a lot; hide your true emotions at times, and give true love to keep the relationship alive. You may feel jealous or sad. You may even feel that you are not your true self. But, if your aim is to get your ex back, you will be focused and everything else will seem trivial.
Usually when a breakup occurs there is a lot of healing that needs to take place. Egos are bruised and trust has been shaken. Sometimes the path back to harmony and trust in a relationship can be a long one. Here are some more things that you can do to shorten that path and make getting back together much, much quicker.
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