Because of human nature we try to change people to fit our needs or become who we think would make them better. Generally, this just doesn’t work. Couples often find that because one tried to change the other, they just don’t cope well together any longer. Independence is important to people so when they’re forced to change, they’re going to be unhappy and resentful. After a couple splits up, if one tries to change the other and not themselves, there will be bad consequences.

Language of Desires

Generally a breakup is due to both members of the relationship and one just felt there were no more options to fixing the situation. If you want to get back with your ex you’re going to have to be the one to do the fixing. Show your ex that you can still change for the bettering of the relationship.

Though it might not seem fair, take into consideration that you’re the one that wants to get back with your ex. If you want something… you have to work for it. Think of what you can do on a personal level that would make a difference to your ex.

You don’t have to do all the changing, just enough to get your ex to realize you’re serious about making your relationship work. Your ex will become comfortable with changing when he/she no longer feels like he/she is taking a huge risk in putting his/her trust in you again.

Basically the saying “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself” holds true in this sort of situation because you’re looking to make a foundation for something that takes a lot of work. Trust only in yourself to make the foundation you want for your relationship. Your ex will realize the hard work you’ve put into maintaining a relationship and will likely be willing to try again.

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