Making contact when relationships are strained can be difficult and feel downright impossible if you have already broken up. Frequently one or other partner won’t take the call and this simply adds to the stress. So what can be done? What ‘magic’ words can be used to open communications and return that call?

Language of Desires

These barriers can be broken down and communications opened up again but there is an approach you should use. Play it right and your ex will actually be eager to speak to you! Sound Good?

The approach needs some thought and really ought to be used only as part of an overall plan.

This tactic does not in itself lead to relationship recovery as using this single tactic on its own could do as much damage as help.

There are a couple of traps that people so often fall into in this situation neither of which ever work. Worse – they lead to a real loss of dignity and can send relationships into their terminal spin. This stuff needs careful planning and precise execution

The first mistake is to plead with your partner to return the call – it has desperation written all over. You know the stuff – ‘please, please, please call me back….’. The second is the 911 type call i.e. saying that there is an ’emergency’ in an attempt to force the return call. This officially is 100% desperate.

Forget these approaches and never use them – both are wrong and both lead to disaster.

Instead think a little about human instinct. Most people tend to be pretty curious and just about everyone maintains a fairly huge level of self interest. Combine the two and progress can be made.

Information on the complete strategy which you need to adopt (of which this is merely a tiny part) can be found at the link detail provided below.

Much better to adopt an approach whereby your ex’s curiosity is raised to a pitch where the return call cannot be denied.

Best delivered in a friendly tone, the message to leave goes something like “Hi there, Janet here.

Just wanted to let you know I really appreciate what you did for me and wanted to thank you properly. Please give me a call”

Your ex will be unable to resist. Wondering what on earth he did to provoke such a positive tone, he’ll be phoning up to (a) take the thanks (and credit) in person and of course (b) find out exactly what it was that he did in the first place.

Couple of things to bear in mind. You must have something plausible to say when the ex calls. Even if it something small, make sure it is real and in line with message you left. If you do not having something to say, or use the call as an opportunity to completely change tone then disaster awaits….

That’s where having an overall strategy and approach is essential as laid out in The Magic of Making Up detail of which can be found at

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