One of the most heartbreaking moments in an adult life is when you are dumped by the one you loved. You are then faced with that awful feeling of rejection, coupled with anger, fear and misery. Your whole idea of self esteem may come crumbling down before your eyes as you watch your loved one walk away from you. Your heart is not the only thing that’s broken – so are your dreams and hopes of a future with the one you love.

Language of Desires

Sometimes the pain is so excruciating that people going through breakups will do anything to win back lost love. The thing is, when panic sets in, it usually clouds your reasoning and can make you do things you may regret later on. What’s important to do during heart breaking times like these is to stay calm, take some time off and do some soul searching. You maybe tempted to wallow in self pity and misery, but it will not do you any good to put your life on hold and focus on such negative emotions. 

Your breakup is a good time to pamper yourself and focus on things that will improve your self esteem. It’s possible that you had let go of the person that your ex fell in love with in the first place. This is a good time to do some self analysis and find out what your shortcomings had been, that led your loved one put an end to your relationship.

After you’ve regained your composure and had given yourself some time to think, consider dropping you’re ex an email or a text message that says how grateful you had been for the times you were together. Do not make it too much of an emotional message, but only something that is sincere and direct to the point. You may drop a hint that you are ready to give it another try and work on issues that had caused the breakup. Remember not to put any blame on either you or your partner, but instead, leave the impression that you welcome the friendship even after the relationship has ended.

If your ex responds positively to your message, you may move on to the next level of initiating a meeting, preferably just for coffee. Make the meeting brief and simply offer friendship, nothing more. If your ex is keen on getting back with you, he will also offer hints that the relationship is worth another try.

Finally, after you’ve taken the first steps of contacting your ex, get into the “no contact period”, where you will neither call or email or text him. This period of silence should create curiosity in him and may make him start missing you. If he still feels deeply for you, he will initiate the next opportunity to contact you or better yet, to meet up with you.

Your next steps to get your ex back requires a creative strategy where in the end, your ex will desire on his own to get back with you. 

Mindy Andrews is a relationship coach and writes on relationship issues for online newsletters. For more creative suggestions on how to get your ex back, she recommends visiting

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