When a girl breaks up with you, you’ll feel all kinds of wild emotions on your end. You’ll be hurt, depressed… you may feel hopelessness and despair. But what is she thinking? If you can’t get into your exgirlfriend’s mind, you’ll never know the right things to say or do that will make her want you back. You’ll pretty much be guessing, and this is always bad. If you can stop your own spinning thoughts for a moment and try to get into her own head, that’s when you’ll begin to make progress.
The end of a relationship is not always final. When a girl tells you it’s over, many times she’s just frustrated or angry at something you did. In some cases, these are things you’ve been doing consistently for some time. Only after the break up do you realize what they are. You also feel like if you can just fix them, you’re going to be able to get her back. But it’s a little more complicated than that.
One of the first things a girl will do after she ends the relationship is to avoid you. But why? Didn’t she just tell you she wanted to be friends? Of course she did, but it’s not what she meant. Immediately after she dumps you, your ex is going to avoid you for a while. She feels weird around you because she knows you still like her. She’s may also be trying to avoid leading you on, but for the most part, it’s just extremely awkward to see you right after the break up. Don’t let this discourage you, because being apart for a while – with no contact – is necessary to the process of making your ex miss you.
Disappearing from your ex’s sight will go a long way toward getting her back. If you can turn off your cellphone and stop answering emails, your ex is going to immediately wonder where you went.
This seems the opposite of what I said above, which is that she wants to avoid you. And she does! But that’s not to say she wants YOU to avoid HER. Any woman who breaks up with a guy wants to know she’s missed. She wants to feel like she was needed and loved, and that losing her ended up making you feel hurt. But when you completely disappear? It’s a huge mystery to her. You’ve just done the polar opposite of what she expected, and she’s going to be extremely confused.
Another thing: no girl wants to see her exboyfriend having fun after the break up. It’s not like she’s trying to be cruel or anything, but your ex wants to see you miserable for all the above reasons. So if you end up going out with friends? Having a great time, laughing and smiling? That’s a huge blow to the female ego. Your ex wants to think she’s been responsible for a lot of the happiness in your life, and now suddenly you seem to be having an even better time without her. In fact, if you’re having a good enough time you’re going to become attractive in many social ways, and this can actually cause her to start questioning the break up. Should I have let this guy go? Is he better than I thought he was? What if he meets someone else, and I don’t? These are the things going through a girl’s mind when she sees this, which is why sitting at home depressed and wallowing in your own misery is the absolute worst thing you can do to reverse a break up.
Contact is another thing. Although she doesn’t want to speak to you, your ex-girlfriend at least expects some type of word or message from you after the break up. Now imagine her checking her phone, and there’s no missed calls from you. No text messages. No emails in her inbox. All of a sudden she’s doubting that you needed her in the first place, or she’s wondering if maybe she needs you more than you need her. This is KEY to getting your ex back! By doing absolutely nothing, you’ve done something critical to making her miss and want you again.
Every break up is temporary until your ex decides it’s final. This could happen quickly, or it could take some time. During the interm, she’ll always keep the door to the relationship slightly open… just in case she wants to change her mind. If you leave the door like that, your ex becomes comfortable and has no reason to get back together with you. But what if you grabbed that door and pulled it toward you just a little bit? This is how you rattle your ex’s confidence. All of the above actions will cause her to question the break up, and the fact that you’re pulling the door closed means she’s risking losing you forever. Keep up the good work, and you’ll start to see changes in how she feels toward you. Her contacting you won’t be far behind.