Every one loves to be chased. Your ex is no exception. But when your ex has left you and you want to get your ex back, let the rules of the game change. Instead of chasing your ex, let him or her chase you. In other words, to get your ex back, let your ex get back on his own and not the other way round. This is not a strategy arising out of high-strung emotions but out of rational thinking. The issue however remains that if you want your ex to get back on his or her own volition, what you need to do and why. Here are some points to ponder:

• To let your ex get back, the first thing you need to do is to put him or her through the same set of pain and trauma as you have suffered. It is easy to do when you do the disappearance act or take up the No Contact strategy. Do not answer calls, mails messages that your ex sends you. Leave no forwarding contact details with anyone. To get your ex back, even leave instructions in your place of work, which phone calls should be put through, and which are to be ignored. The idea is to make your ex jealous, curious, pained and hurt. Nothing is more painful than not knowing what has happened to your ex lover, who he or she is with, what he or she is going through, etc – your ex is just getting exposed to such pain by your No Contact strategy.

• Move on with your life and when you do this, ensure that your ex is informed about it. Get seen in circles which can make your ex envious, get involved with people who trigger jealousy, appear busy, happy and content. Let your ex sizzle in his or her own brew. Make life impossible for your ex, especially if your ex has left you for someone new. This is the only way to get your ex back, without making any conscious effort.

• Take complete control of your emotions. Even if you bump into your ex and find that he or she has found someone new – appear placid and non-involved. Let your ex wonder forever whether you are jealous, concerned or even contemplating a comeback. The more aloof you behave, the better are your chances to get your ex back.

• There are several aspects in a personality, which can be referred to as ‘weak spots’. If you know what these vulnerable areas are in your ex, take necessary advantage to get your ex back without taking any initiative from your side. This excludes activities like emotional blackmailing, maligning the new lover, etc which are in no way ethical. Think positive and you could locate several areas where your ex is known to go weak on his or her knees. Focus on such areas that compel your ex to get back at the earliest opportunity.

• Take help from humor. Using humor in such situations can work wonders. While your ex is expecting to see you in a morose and depressed frame of mind – you land up with an attitude, which makes a mockery of the break up situation. Knowing to laugh at your own expense is perhaps one of the most important signs of maturity and a profound sense of humor. Let your ex get surprised to find a new you – in your attitude and deportment. Be sure that this can get your ex back before you can even think of ways to get your ex back.

Why is getting your ex back so important to you?

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