You’re guilty. You cheated. Now you’re asking yourself ‘How can I get my ex back after I’ve cheated’? There are people whose position is that an affair is a good reason to end your relationship. I wholeheartedly disagree with that thought process. I believe that every relationship can be salvaged as long as both parties are willing to put in the work required to keep it. This article is written to help you restore trust within relationships
To restore the trust in your relationship, an attitude and action adjustment will be required. It’s possible to save your relationship even after an affair, but the you must start with significantly increasing the level of trust between the members of the couple.
If you’re the one who had the affair, then something in your attitude or mentality caused you to stray away from your relationship. This is generally an indication that something is broken at the core of your relationship. Just know that whatever it is, it can be fixed.
Do a self assessment to determine what you were searching for when you strayed. Was the intimacy in your relationship boring and routine? Was she too focused on something other than you? Had she allowed her appearance, hygiene, or grooming to slip too much?
If the relationship was perfect, you wouldn’t have been caught up in an affair. So do some self analysis and ask yourself what needs to be done to fix the issues. The problem may not be all you, though. There could also be problems with your relationship, not the individuals.
Restoring trust in relationships basically means fixing these underlying problems. This may even require couples counseling. Many times a 3rd party can offer insight or mediation that cannot be obtained with just the two of you.
Just having an understanding of your thoughts isn’t enough. You must take specific action towards reconciling your differences. Don’t just talk about. Do something about it.
One of the most impactful things you can do is make small promises then do all you can to keep them. Let your word be your bond. Be consistent with the things you’ve promised to do. Demonstration of your trustworthiness on these small things will gradually improve your partner’s confidence in your ability and faithfulness with doing the greater things.
Just know that your girlfriend or wife is going to constantly need reassurance that you’ve changed for the long term and not just said words. This means you’ll probably be apologizing several times for your breach. Plan for comments about it to be made. Take them in stride and keep showing her that you’re serious about the success of your relationship. Your patience will be tested, but if your plan is to stay with her, you’ll continue being patient.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t to say that you should forever be laden with guilt about the affair. Don’t let her take you on guilt trips. Apologize for what you’ve done wrong. Be understanding. Move on.
I have a friend who is always telling me to find the silver lining in a bad situation. You can do this, too. Find the positives of the incident. Use this as an opportunity to grow individually and collectively. Scientists say a bone is strongest at the place of a break. Your relationship can be the same way after the affair.
Restoring the trust that’s been broken in your relationship will take time. Your relationship, like a bone, will not be healed overnight. The mentality and actions of both you and your partner will have to change. Be prepared for more accountability. Remember that it is possible to repair the breath and be a stronger couple as a result.
The Magic Of Making Up is loaded with clear, step-by-step advice for healing your relationship and getting your ex back after an affair. It’s written in plain language for all to understand and utilize. Don’t waste another minute wondering if you’re doing everything right. Click rightHERE and find out more about Restoring Trust in Relationships and getting your ex back after an affair.
Arlissa P. is a Relationship Recovery Mentor. Everyone deserves to have someone special in their life. Perhaps your relationship has broken up and you want to get your ex back. Arlissa is an expert in this area and has written many articles on the topic. These can be found at her Relationship Recovery Blog.
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