The first thing you need to understand about winning back your ex after cheating is that it’s going to take time. Getting caught with another woman is going to cause a flood of emotions in your girlfriend’s head, and it’s going to take a while for her to sort them out. Coming on too strong and too fast is always going to push her away, which is why you need to chill out for a while. Given time and space, she’ll be more easily approachable. No matter how long ago you cheated, or how bad things look right now, don’t give up hope. By doing and saying the right things, you can find your way back into her heart again.

Another thing: you want your ex to take you back, but on equally supportive terms. Building a new relationship and forging a future together is your ultimate goal, but not at the expense of getting along with your girlfriend. Simply put, you can’t come groveling back to her. You should be sorry for what you did, but you cannot allow your exgirlfriend to stomp all over you. As you lay there with footprints all over your back, she’s going to lose respect for you – and you’ll even lose respect for yourself. For the rest of your relationship she’ll feel as if she can beat you up at any time for the fact that you cheated on her. It’ll end up destroying your partnership, and you’ll never build trust. Don’t ever sacrifice your dignity for the sake of getting your ex back – it’s not worth the poisonous new relationship that will develop.

That being said, you’ll need to do the right things in order to win back your ex after an affair. You can’t ever make up for what you did, but you can be sorry for it and let her know it won’t ever happen again. Patience is key. The following actions will help you get started on making things right with your exgirlfriend or wife after she’s caught you cheating on her:

Don’t Fight Her Decision to Break Up – As soon as your ex finds out you’ve been unfaithful, she’s going to tell you to hit the road. That’s exactly what you should do. You can’t say or do anything at this point that would change her mind, and anything you do say will only piss her off. Don’t deny what happened, or try to minimize it right now, and definitely don’t try to blame someone other than you. Say very little, and obey her decision to break up. For now, anyway.

Let Her Know You’re Sorry, And Then Walk Away – When the confrontation over your cheating occurs, you should of course apologize for what happened. Be genuinely sorry, and not just trying to say what you think she wants to hear. If she’s still yelling and screaming at you, let her get it out for a while. But eventually, it’s time to walk away. As she repeatedly reminds you that she’s now broken up with you, back off and accept it. Anything you say will be held against you later on, and nothing you could say is what she wants to hear. Shut your mouth and give her the least amount of ammunition to use against you during your reconciliation.

Give Her All The Space She Needs… and Then Some – The major mistake most guys make after cheating is that they try to convince their girlfriends or wives not to end the relationship. This goes directly against her need to punish you, and she’ll be even more mad that you’re fighting her on it. Instead of calling your ex, emailing her, text-messaging her and trying to contact her at every turn, the best thing you can do is let her be for a while. This will also give your ex the chance to miss you.

By staying in touch you’re only giving her an outlet for more rage: she’ll keep on yelling, screaming, and hitting you for as long as you keep making yourself available. But leaving her alone, she has to deal with everything by herself. She’ll finally get to think about and rationalize the fact that you cheated on her. Her mind can’t sort through this until the anger stage is over, so hasten that process by disappearing for a while. It’s probably what she told you she wants, anyway.

Breaking all contact with your exgirlfriend is effectively ending your apology, too. Although you were admittedly wrong, the more you apologize the harder your ex is going to take the cheating. When you meet up with her again, you’ll apologize one last time and this is when you’re going to convince her that such a mistake won’t ever happen again. But after that? You need to stop saying you’re sorry. If you keep the apology going past this point, she’s going to use your affair to keep on punishing you. She’ll also expect you to apologize for numerous other things throughout your relationship that you might not even be guilty of.

These are just the initial steps to take after being unfaithful. To learn more about dealing with this tough situation, check out Winning Her Back After Cheating And for a detailed guide on how to make your ex want you back, be sure to visit How To Get Back An Ex Girlfriend