“He broke my heart but I still love him.” That’s often said with some embarrassment and confusion. Everyone around you is likely telling you that loving a man who hurt you that much is foolish. They think you should just forget about him and move on, right? You don’t know how to do that. It’s no wonder. Love isn’t something you can just turn off like a water faucet. He’s your guy and everyone makes mistakes. You know deep inside your heart that he didn’t mean to hurt you as much as he did. Getting him back and getting past the issues that tore you apart is possible. You just have to know how to get from here to there.
You have to begin the healing process by forgiving him. Yes, he did something that made you feel immeasurable emotional pain. However, by coming to the realization that you still love him, you’ve taken the first step towards getting back together. You have to look at his actions since the break up. Has he apologized? Has he reached out to you by trying to be your friend? Any gesture like this is a clear sign that he regrets what he did and wants to move forward. Unless you can find it within you to forgive him, any second chance that you two may have won’t work.
Once you two have addressed the problems that you faced in your relationship make a vow to move forward without looking back. You’re going to be tempted to bring up the things that he did that hurt you. It makes for powerful ammunition during any future conflicts. Don’t wander down this road, ever. You don’t want to keep drudging up the past. Leave it where it belongs. You need to have a fresh outlook if you hope for the relationship to survive.
Rebuilding the broken relationship has to include laying a newer and stronger foundation. You may feel as though you want to jump back into his arms and into the position of his girlfriend right now. Be wary of doing that. You two have to reconnect on an emotional level before you can share more. You don’t want to rush into trying to pick up where you left off. If you do that, you’ll likely find yourself in the middle of a bitter break up a few weeks from now. Getting close again can’t be pushed. Take it slowly.
Begin by spending a bit more time together. That can include talking on the phone or hanging out in person. Don’t tell him that you wish you were his again too soon. Let him realize how much he needs you on his own. Just be there as a strong, dependent and understanding person in his life. It won’t take long for him to realize just how much you two have in common and how deeply connected you really are.
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