Are you going through a break up and your ex partner doesn’t want to keep in touch, whereas you do? You not only want to call him/her, you want to get your ex back! What’s the way out? How can you reach out when the other party doesn’t want to? How can you get your ex back in such a situation?

The most effective way to reach out to your ex is to leave a message on his/her phone! Just make sure it’s short, to the point and not too emotional . You have to control your emotions if you want to get your ex back.

You see, after a break up most people want to spend time away from each other to figure out their emotions and what their next step should be. So, it’s vital that you give your ex enough space or you might end up alienating him/her. Only get in touch with your ex after a gap of at least one month. If you want to get your ex back, you have to be patient.

Use this month to sort out your emotions and take stock of the situation. Focus on healing yourself and do things that make you feel good. Once the first month is over and you think you are emotionally ready, then make the call.

Before you do, be prepared that your ex might not take your call, which is actually good! This helps you to leave a well thought out message without having to hear his/her voice. It also gives you the opportunity to say what you want in a studied and calm manner, instead of running the risk of getting into a fight with your ex. You must be able to control your emotions if you want a chance to get your ex back.

The kind of message you want to leave should pique your ex’s curiosity enough to make him/her call back! So, write down what you want to say use your familiarity with your ex to your advantage. Think about what kind of message and tone would make your ex return your call? The idea is to break his/her resistance!

In case you’re not quite sure about the kind of message you need to leave, try using this one: “Hello! You probably don’t want to speak to me at this moment and I can understand that. That’s why I’m leaving this message. I just want to briefly apologize for the things I said when we were separating. You know something, I realize you were right about us breaking up. The time had come for us to move on. And I guess you understood this before I did. I do understand it now and I agree with you completely. The time we had together will always be special. I hope you feel the same way. Anyway, I’ve got to run. Look after yourself. Bye!”

So, you’ve laid the bait. Now just wait for your ex’s curiosity to get the better of him/her! And it will! That’s human nature. Your ex will start thinking about what’s going on in your life. Have you found someone else? Are you over him/her? If you want to get your ex back, start with stimulating his/her curiosity.

Apologizing for the things you’ve said and done, should get your ex’s defense’s down. It will also move attention away from your disagreements to a more conciliatory level of communication. This, in turn, will lay the foundation for a healthier future relationship.

Getting your ex back is all about making that first move in a calculated manner. You’re not rushing into things, nor are you blurting out allegations or declarations of love. You’re just leaving an intriguing message that will hopefully get you a return call. And that’s when you activate step number two – a conversation that still leaves your ex guessing, making him/her keen to meet!

Why is getting your ex back so important to you? Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.