It’s over, and you don’t want it to be. But what can you do, what tricks will help you with getting back with your ex?  Well, don’t stoop to tricks. Instead try honesty and start with yourself.

If you really want another shot at a relationship with your ex you’ll want to find out the problems the two of you had before and then make sure that those things are fixed so  you don’t just get back together and break up all over again.

Take some time, and a deep breath, and think back to what happened in your relationship before. What did you do or say that maybe you shouldn’t have done or said? What did your ex do or say? Be honest now, who did the most screwing up, you or your ex? Figure out what you have to do to make yourself a better version of you and start there.

Don’t worry too much at this point about your ex making changes, they either will or they won’t but for right now you can only worry about you. You only have control over you. So start there. Figure out what areas you’re weak in and make changes.

Are you overly clingy, jealous, whiny?  If so, why? If you act like that there is a reason. Did you have another person in your life that made you feel insecure and unsure of where you stood? 

Do you fly off the handle and get mad for no real reason? If so, why?  Do you feel insecure in your relationship or in who you are?  None of these things are easy to face.  No one wants to admit that they’re not a pillar of strength and confidence but it’s often something as simple as one or more of these issues that can sabotage a relationship and until they’re faced and resolved the issues will keep coming back, no matter who you’re in a relationship with.

Finding the cause and curing it can go so far to help with getting back with your ex, it can also help you have better relationships in all areas of your life from work to your mother.

If you really want this to work, don’t be afraid to enlist all the help you can, that may mean finding a counselor to work with.

A lot of people will make a lot of excuses for not going to a counselor but it’s really all about fear. People don’t want to go because they are afraid of what they may hear. Most people would rather live in a state of denial rather than having to make significant changes to who they are.  If that’s who you are do yourself a favor and take the first step by facing all your issues head on.

I don’t mean to sound like an ad for the army but if you need help getting back with your ex, being all that you can be is a great place to start.