If you find yourself wondering how to get your ex girlfriend back, then there’s some advice that you really need to heed. Firstly, stop thinking about all of those things that you could have done in a different manner. Stop philosophizing about the approach that you already used. Stop making plans about writing letters apologizing, sending flowers or any other ideas that might be on your mind. In fact, just step back and stop doing everything for just a little while!

Constantly rehashing the situation will most likely just lead you down another dead end road. Not only can you not determine the specific reasons that lead to your breakup, they don’t really matter anyway! Women are emotional creatures and sometimes they don’t even know why they think what they think. Ask any woman and she’ll tell you the same. So many men make the mistake of trying to force a reunion with their ex girlfriends. Getting back together isn’t about force; it’s about patience and understanding. And it’s also about realizing that maybe a reunion is not good for either of you at all.

Men are competitive. We do not like the thought of being broken up with. And we certainly do not like the thought of another man being around our women. Who would? Still, you cannot do what so many unsuccessful men do and expect to get your ex back. It just won’t work. Here’s some advice that you need to pay close attention to:

– Put your creative energy into something besides your relationship – at least for little while.
– Go out and meet new people. Make new friends. Have fun! That’s what she’s doing.
– Concentrate on developing your own personal attributes for a change. Set realistic goals for your own personal development – and then pursue those goals passionately.
– Allow your ex to know that you care about her but you need time to concentrate on you. Welcome her to contact you if she feels the need to, but never press the issue.
– Go on that diet you’ve been thinking about for so long. Start pumping those weights like you know you should. Stop drinking so much alcohol and concentrate on some pure water instead. Increase your health. Increase your positivity. Increase your bank account.

By focusing on yourself instead of on how you can get your ex back, you will find that you empower yourself to develop in various positive fashions. Life is about more than your ex girlfriend. Sure, you love her. So what? Obviously right now, she doesn’t feel the same. Allow her to have her space to think and feel as she will. You do the same. If she sleeps with another man, then let it be. She probably wasn’t a virgin when you met her anyway. Neither were you.

Don’t worry about getting back together right now. Let the situation ride for a while. Begin to make subtle changes in your life. You might even decide now and then to make sure that she sees that you are moving on. Nothing works better to put a spark in a girl’s thought patterns than to see you enjoying your life without her. They say all is fair in love and war. Use that to your advantage. Doesn’t that sound a whole lot better than continuing to worry yourself sick every day about how you can get your ex girlfriend back?

Remember that you are not able to effectively love anybody else if you cannot love yourself first. Be a man! Stand up for what you believe in. If you are meant to be with a particular woman, then she will feel the same. If she doesn’t feel the same, you’re wasting your time anyway! Getting back together with your ex girlfriend is not always the best idea. And even if it is, it’s not going to hurt to give the situation some time to cool down and develop a new mutual degree of respect for one another.

Marvin Roberts is a relationship consultant and professional writer. He has helped thousands of people around the world to keep their love lives exciting and new. He can help you too.

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