So you take that class in school about getting your ex boyfriend back? Your parents didn’t sit down with you and have a heart to heart discussion about it? Don’t worry, no one else did either. The good news there are steps you can take that should lead you in the right direction. I’m not going to try to convince you that it’s a piece of cake; it’s not. But if you follow a few steps, you will be headed in the right direction.

1. Right now what, you need to do is to sit down and take a slow, deep breath. Maybe more than one breath. Maybe a lot. Right now you need to concentrate on you and realize that self pity is self defeating. Utterly self defeating. In order to get your ex boyfriend back, you have to get yourself in the best possible state of mind you have ever been in and feel positive about who you truly are. If you want to get your ex boyfriend back, you have to prepared to be strong. You can’t be negative or especially, depressed in order in obtain any goal in life, and that includes getting your ex boyfriend back.

2. You have to remember one key point here, your relationship with your ex boyfriend will never be the same as it was. As scary as that may sound, you need to think about moving forward with him, not backwards.

You need to keep in mind the aspects of your relationship that were less than perfect in your relationship. Be honest with yourself and realize that if your relationship had been all roses and sunshine, you would still be together. Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither will you getting back with your ex boyfriend.

3. Smothering your ex boyfriend with attention is not the way to go. Most people, and particularly guys, don’t like someone to become compulsive about them.

When looking at even the best relationships, people respect each other’s need for space. But you will want to call him, email him, send him a text message just to check on him. Don’t. When you are attempting to mend a relationship, space is of paramount importance. Give him that time and space to realize he misses being with you and has made a mistake.

4. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. See yourself as your ex boyfriend did. Are you happy with what you see? You need to feel good on the inside, that is true, but you need to look your best on the outside too. I’m not going to tell you that you do a complete make over, but the objective here is to make yourself as desirable as you can. Confidence is built from the inside out. When you are confident, other people pick up on this. And you become more desirable to men…hopefully your ex boyfriend too.

5. Keep in mind that you need to take things one step at a time. If you do, and get through the above steps, your ex boyfriend will be very apt to reestablish communication with you. And if you follow through on step 4 especially, he will be pleasantly surprised when he sees the rejuvenated ‘new’ you. With your new look and inner confidence, he will very likely be sorry he broke up with you in the first place. Keep physical contact to a minimum when you do see each other. Remember, that you need to take things slowly. You want him to understand the newness that is you. You at your best, both inside and out, he will desire you more than ever. By keeping the physical contact to a minimum, you should drive him crazy. This will also help you to decide if you are getting back into the relationship for the right reasons.

This strategy will not be a breeze for you to do at first. You will want to give in and get in touch with him or see him, but you have to resist the urge. Following these tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back together after a breakup.

Nancy Nire is the creator, host and moderator at the Couples-Advice.com Relationship Website
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