If you lost your lover you are probably consumed with a desire of getting your ex back. It is a natural feeling. Trying to win back an old lover is not an easy thing to do but it can be done. Since each situation is unique, there is no universal way of succeeding, but there are a lot of commonalities you can use to get your ex back, and also a lot of common mistakes that you should be sure to avoid. It is not what you want to hear but you will have to be patient as getting your ex back is not easy or fast process.

The first step to getting your ex back is to apologize. Whether or not you feel at fault for the breakup, if you are honest you will know there are things you could have done better. There’s no changing the past so don’t dwell on it, just apologize for any mistakes that you might have made. It is the first admission to your partner that you are willing to change to make yourself better, and it is important that they see you developing in this interim.

The second step is explaining to your ex that you need time to yourself, to deal with your emotions. Being around an ex lover only burdens both with feelings they are trying to ignore; any conversations and meetings are awkward, a hard dance between what you are feeling and what is appropriate to talk about. The only way to truly heal and get past this awkward phase is to spend time apart, living separate lives. Self-healing is very important element in getting your ex back process. Make clear to your ex that if they start to feel differently they are welcome to try to talk to you, otherwise you need to be left alone.

The hardest part of all of this is sticking to your guns. You will start missing your ex, but if you start talking to them and pursuing them again, it will push them further away. They left for a reason, and you will know if they change their minds. Time is the key here, it will take time for both of you to recover from the emotional turmoil and there is no shortcut to getting your ex back. Wait it out and don’t act out of desperation, only talk to your ex when you are emotionally capable of handling regular contact.

If you make it this far, and you and your ex decide to meet up, do it in a social, neutral setting. Don’t press them to come back to you, don’t even bring up the relationship. If your ex brings it up, let them speak their feeling and add very little. Don’t assign any blame to them for what happened, and simply express an interest to see them again. Don’t ask for a relationship, let one develop naturally, and don’t let it fall into the same routine that you had before. By this point you should be well on your way to beginning a new relationship. Getting you ex back is absolutely possible but you must approach this task in an intelligent manner.

Why is getting your ex back so important to you? Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.

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